


We're Raving Through the Night

by ilokheimsins



Series: Kingsman:  The Secret Servicing [1]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Basically PWP, F/F, M/M, if you squint you can see a plot, light Harry/Merlin, roxy/OFC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:56:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilokheimsins/pseuds/ilokheimsins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've just finished a mission, it's Eggsy's birthday, and they're in the city that never sleeps, why not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Raving Through the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, do you know what I do when I have writer's block?
> 
> I write porn.
> 
> So much of it. So. Much. I legit have six different docs open, four of which are PWP and two of which are the ongoing fics.
> 
> Guys, help.

Eggsy is a raver, through and through.  He loves drowning in the pulse of the crowd and letting the beat bang through his veins until it consumes his heartbeat and makes it feel like it’s going to push out of his chest.  And they’re in the city that never sleeps, so what better way to celebrate than to do as they do in the Big Apple and never sleep?

Eggsy’s birthday just happens to fall on the day after they complete a mission in New York.  There are four of them: him, Roxy, Harry, and Merlin.  He, Roxy, and Harry are there because the three branches of the trafficking ring needed to be taken out simultaneously, before one could alert the other.  Merlin is there ostensibly to provide close range support.  More likely, he’s there to avoid having to deal with the escalating prank war occurring between pyrotechnics and chemical engineering.

(Escalating in the sense that it’s gone from haha, look we set the coffee pot on fire to _haha, look we put clear explosives with a new type of knockout gas all over your walls and they activate whenever someone gets within a foot of them_.)

The night before his birthday, he strides into the living room between their suites (Merlin and Harry on one side, Roxy and Eggsy on the other) and smiles as wide as he can.  Roxy, Harry, and Merlin are all hunched around the fancy coffee table and they startle when he walks in.

“Eggsy, what are you wearing?” Merlin asks.

Eggsy looks down at himself and then smirks at them.  He’s got on his very best pair of jeans that Jamal calls his pulling jeans and a tight, practically see through black shirt that molds to him and shows off his arms.

“This?  Oh, this is just the beginning,” He says, “A’cause we’re goin’ dancin’ for my birthday.”

Roxy is immediately on board, just like Eggsy knew she would be.  It takes her less than a second to drop her sheaf of papers and shove out of her seat.  She’s stripping on the way back to their suite, tossing her shirt over her shoulder.  It hits Merlin in the face and her boot nearly clocks Harry when she flings it out into the general sitting area.  Eggsy grins at her retreating back.  Back in London, they have nights where they go out to drink and dance until their heads feel empty except for the crash of music.  The hard part is convincing Merlin and Harry.

“C’mooooon,” He pouts and gives his best set of puppy eyes, fluttering his eyelashes outrageously.

“Eggsy,” Harry says, “I think Merlin and I are bit old for dancing.”

“But it’s my birthday,” Eggsy pleads.

“It’s his birthday,” Roxy echoes from their shared room.

“Pleaaaaaase?”

“What does dancing entail?” Merlin asks.

“Drinking and dancing,” Eggsy specifies, “At a club.”

“Do you know how expensive that is in downtown Manhattan?” Harry says.

“Do you know how much Kingsman pays each of us?” Eggsy retaliates, “Yeah?  Then you know we can fuckin’ afford one night of getting’ sloshed and dancin’ until the sun comes up.”

“Look,” Roxy says as she reenters the room, “He even got you two clothes.”

Faced with their two youngest agents making nearly identical pouting expressions— quite possibly the only people they cannot deny, though they’ll never admit so — they give in.

***

Merlin has to admit, when Eggsy isn’t being a chav, he’s got rather good taste in clothing.  The outfits he’s picked for Merlin and Harry are tasteful, suited for their age and the scene they’ll be going to.  They’re dressed in similar clothes, dark button-ups and tight jeans.

“I’m not sure this is supposed to sit like this,” Harry admits from where he’s watching his reflection turn in the mirror.

“It’s supposed to accentuate your bum like that,” Merlin says.

Harry raises an eyebrow skeptically and Merlin shrugs.  He knows fuck all about fashion, but assuming that Eggsy isn’t taking the piss and that Roxy’s approval of his choices wasn’t actually a joke, this is what they’ve got to work with.

“Merlin, we’re fifty.  Why the hell did we agree to this?”

“Because we’ve got an inability to say no to Eggsy when he pouts, and even less of a defense against Roxy joining him?”

“Ah, yes.  I knew having young agents would come back to bite us someday.”

“Quite.”

They can hear a vague pounding of music, but the hotel walls are thick and neither man can make out exactly what song is playing.  They exit the room to find Eggsy and Roxy dancing to a throbbing beat, each with a thigh shoved between the other’s legs, and tossing back shots of Bombay Sapphire.

“Finally,” Roxy says as she catches sight of them.  She whistles and turns Eggsy’s head with a slight touch of her fingertips.

“Now tha’s unfair,” Eggsy says as he scans them.

Merlin looks down at himself to find the cause of Eggsy’s statement and when he looks back up, Eggsy’s pouring out the rest of the Bombay into four shot glasses, each one a lot taller than he remembers traditional shot glasses being.

“Right,” Eggsy says, “Bein’ a broke-ass twenty-somefin’ dictates that we gotta chug this b’fore we get there.”

“Eggsy,” Harry says, “Neither Merlin or I are twenty something.”

“Yeah, you ain’t, but Rox and I are.  And since it’s my birthday, you two’s gonna drink with us,” He says, gesturing to the electric blue liquid.

“Bottom’s up,” He says, linking arms with Roxy.  They drain their overly large shots, shaking their heads at the burn of alcohol and then looking expectantly at Harry and Merlin.

“I suppose,” Merlin says.  He’s resigned to the fact that this is going to be a night of him and Harry giving in to a lot of Eggsy’s birthday demands.

“Right,” Harry nods, “It’s just a large…blue drink.”

He and Merlin grab one each and clink the glasses against one another.  Just as Harry raises it to his lips, he stops and looks over at Eggsy and Roxy’s expectant faces, “Is it supposed to be so blue?”

Eggsy rolls his eyes, “It’s called Sapphire for a reason, Harry.”

“Right then,” Harry says.

He shuts his eyes and tosses the shot back.  When he opens them again, he sees Merlin looking down at the glass in consideration and Eggsy looking absolutely delighted.

Eggsy’s delight, he maintains, will forever be his downfall.

“An’ now we fuckin’ go dance,” Eggsy shouts and goes charging past, making a beeline for the door.  Roxy whoops and runs after him, grabbing her jacket as she goes.

“I suppose we follow them,” Harry says.

“I suppose we do, old friend, I suppose we do.”

***

The club Eggsy chooses is three floors of pounding music that shakes the very building.  He and Roxy flash their IDs at the bouncer and, when Harry and Merlin hesitate at the door, yank insistently on their arms.

“It’s alright.  They don’t need the ID,” The bouncer says, obviously amused by the age disparity.

“We’re not,” Harry tries to explain.

“For fuck’s sake, Harry,” Eggsy says, “We’re here to get drunk and dance, not to explain to the doorman—” He squints at the bouncer’s nametag “—Mike, that you ain’t my sugar daddy and that Merlin ain’t Rox’s.  So come the fuck on.”

Mike nods at them both as they follow Eggsy and Roxy in and up a flight of stairs.  Harry tries to look anywhere but directly ahead, because that way lies Eggsy’s bum clad in way too tight jeans and Roxy’s legs in a dress that is incredibly tight and short.  And Harry respects Roxy and is still pretending that he doesn’t desperately want to touch Eggsy.

They go up to the third floor, where the music is even louder and there’s an absolutely massive crowd of people, all dancing under the flash of lights that sweep the room.  Eggsy and Roxy shove their way through to the bar, Harry and Merlin watching as the crowd closes up behind them.

“Roun’ of tequila for four,” Eggsy shouts.

“Make it two rounds,” Roxy calls, “It’s his birthday and we’re getting him blitzed!”

At Roxy’s mention of a birthday, the people nearest the two young agents whoop and clap, some calling out for extra shots to be added to their lineup, paid for as a birthday gift.  By the time Eggsy and Roxy have fought their way back out of the crowd, there’s two sets of what looks to be Guinness paired with shots and another two sets of darker colored shots, one with electric green in the middle and cream on top, lined up on their tray next to the original rounds of tequila.

“You ever done this before?” Eggsy asks over the pound of music, “Tequila, I mean?”

Both older men shake their heads.  It’s not a drink that Kingsmen often partake in and Merlin can’t remember the last time he downed anything that wasn’t a whiskey or a martini.

“Salt your hands,” Roxy instructs and then shows them how she sprinkles a line of it down the side of hers.  Eggsy mimics her and grabs his shot.  They lick up the salt and drain the shots before grabbing a lime each and sucking them into their mouths, making faces at the sudden punch of sourness.

They turn to look at Merlin and Harry and once again, in the face of their combined expectations, they find themselves reaching for the shaker.  The burn of alcohol isn’t unfamiliar, but the sourness of lime spreading after is.

“This is shit,” Merlin pronounces after removing his lime.

“Yeah, but it’s cheaper than the other shots,” Eggsy shouts.

He doles out the second round of tequila and pours another line of salt before passing the shaker to Roxy.  Once everyone has a line of salt running down the thumb side of their hand, Roxy raises hers in toast.

“Happy birthday,” She shouts and they all clink glasses before licking up the salt and pounding back the shot.

“That is fuckin’ rank,” Eggsy says, shaking his head and running his tongue back and forth across his teeth in an attempt to scrape the taste of tequila off it.

“Now,” He says, pointing at the other two lines of shots, “We got a round of Amaretto and a line of After Eights and two Irish Car bombs for the each of us, yeah?”

Merlin and Harry both reach for the beers, startling when Roxy smacks both their hands away.

“Beer last,” She says firmly, “Always.”

“Ain’ you never heard, bruvs?  Beer b’fore liquor, never sicker.  Liquor b’fore beer, yer in the clear,” He says, nodding sagely. “Shots first!”

***

By the time Eggsy drags Roxy off to go dance, they’ve downed all the liquor at the table, plus a round of what Eggsy calls a Cocksucking Cowboy.  Both he and Merlin had to try rather hard to keep from choking on that name.  They watch the two younger agents push into the crowd of dancers and disappear.

Which leaves them sitting awkwardly at their tiny table.  It takes the space of a song (as far as Harry and Merlin can tell, what with the blurred transitions) for a pair of drunk college girls to come staggering up to hit on them, giggling all the while.  They pout when they’re turned down, but leave rather easily.  One surprises Merlin enough to haul him in for a sloppy kiss before turning to retreat with the rest of her friends.

“I don’t know if I should be alarmed or not,” Merlin says, blinking rapidly.

“I’m trying for not,” Harry says, “I’m not sure how well it’s going.”

They both turn back to the crowd of dancers, scanning frantically for a glimpse of either Roxy or Eggsy.

***

Roxy and Eggsy are face to face, which is their favorite way to dance, crowded on all sides by bodies.  The bass pounds through the floor and shudders up their chests.  Lights sweep the dance floor and flash off glow sticks.  The music spirals high and the whole club jumps when the beat comes crashing back in. 

A guy, wearing enough white to glow under the lights, comes shoving through crowd, encircling wrists and necks with glow sticks.  He stops and cracks several to loop around Roxy’s wrist and one for Eggsy’s neck.  They salute in thanks and the guy pushes on, bedazzling others as he goes.  Roxy tosses her hands in the air, bracelets jiggling, and starts rolling her hips to the new beat.

“Rox,” Eggsy shouts, “You gotta teach me that.”

“Gonna use it on our favorite pair of oldies?” She shouts back, waggling her eyebrows.

Eggsy grins and she smirks, lowering her hands to settle them on the curve of his hips.  He follows her hands as they push to dip one side of his body first before figure-eighting his hips in a swivel that drops the other side as she brings the original side up.

“Like this, yeah?” Eggsy asks and tries to do it without the direction of Roxy’s hands.

“Close enough,” She says, “It’ll work on them, to say the least.”

“Water?” She asks and on Eggsy’s nod, she grabs his wrist and turns to force her way out of the dancefloor.

They flow into the crowd clamoring at the bar and lean in on their elbows to look for a water nozzle.  Roxy manages to flag down a bartender fairly quickly and puts in their request for water.

“An’ four blowjobs,” Eggsy says while she’s spraying water into plastic cups.

“No,” Roxy says, but she looks absolutely delighted.

“Yes,” Eggsy says back.

“Eggsy, you absolute fucking tart.”

Eggsy winks and grins brilliantly when Roxy throws her head back to laugh.

***

“’S a blowjob,” Eggsy explains to the pair of older agents, who started out looking dubious when they saw Eggsy and Roxy coming over with another set of drinks and are quickly veering into oh-hell-no territory.

“Very well,” Merlin sighs and reaches for one; he’s resigned himself to his fate.

“Nah, bruv,” Eggsy says, quickly pulling the tray away, “That ain’t how it’s done.”

“It’s a shot,” Harry says, confusion plain on his face, “How else can it be done?”

“Rox?”

The two agents watch, torn between horror and intrigue, as Roxy winks, clasps her hands behind her back, and leans down to fit the entire rim of the glass between her teeth.  She leans back and they watch her drain it, some of the cream dribbling out the side of her mouth.  Eggsy pulls the glass out of her mouth and licks up the trail of cream on her face and she laughs.

“Like a blowjob,” Eggsy says.

Merlin and Harry have something to say, but it gets cut short when they watch Eggsy lean down to wrap his lips around the glass and slowly push his way down until only the base is left visible.  Then he tips his head back to show off the long line of his throat as he swallows.  They watch, slightly spellbound, as Eggsy puts the glass back on the table and slowly pulls off it.

“My way has less mess,” He says proudly.

Neither Merlin nor Harry has any idea of what to say about that.

***

They give in, eventually, when Eggsy uses the birthday excuse.  Merlin goes first, opting for Roxy’s method of clamping his teeth around the glass.  Some of the drink goes spilling out his mouth and he startles when Eggsy pulls the glass out to lick it up.  Roxy laughs at his face and even Harry snorts.

Eggsy pushes the last shot in front of Harry expectantly and they all watch as the man seals his lips around it, somewhere between Roxy and Eggsy’s techniques, to toss it back fluidly.  Unlike Eggsy, he simply pulls the glass out of his mouth with his hands to set it back on the table primly.

“An’ now we dance,” Eggsy shouts.

Harry and Merlin are expecting Eggsy and Roxy to disappear again, which is why they’re unprepared for the way they’re yanked out of their seats and then towed to the dance floor.  Eggsy and Roxy, of a height when Roxy’s in heels, slot together nicely and with an ease that speaks of repeated practice.  They’re similarly positioned to when Merlin and Harry saw them earlier that evening, with a thigh shoved between the other’s legs.

“C’mon, like this,” Eggsy says.  He pulls Harry behind him and tucks one of the man’s hands into his pocket and directs the other to rest along the line of his waist.  Roxy does similarly with Merlin and there’s a moment of absolute nothing which breaks with the younger agents huffing in disapproval.

“You gotta move, bruv,” Eggsy instructs, “’s why it’s called dancing, innit?”

“You have hips for a reason,” Roxy says, “Use them.”

“I…I’m not sure I’ve had enough alcohol for this,” Merlin admits.

Eggsy shakes his head, “Nah, bruv, just move.”

He and Roxy set up a pace that matches the music shuddering through the floors, all rolling hips and loose limbs.

Harry startles when Eggsy leans his head back to pant into the crook of Harry’s neck.

“C’mooooon,” He whines, “You gotta move, Harry.”

Harry feels Eggsy’s tongue dart out to lick and he freezes.

“Jus’ follow me,” Eggsy says.  He grinds back into Harry and Harry instinctively follows the motion, repeating it when Eggsy lets out a pleased, “Yeah, tha’s it.”

Merlin’s doing better by far, when Harry looks up to take stock of the situation.  But then again, Harry thinks, Merlin recently oversaw honeypot training for a whole bunch of new recruits at a club and probably has a better idea of how young people dancing works.

They dance like that for some time, Harry finally getting into the groove of moving his hips.  It takes him a bit to figure out when to jump.  The first time it happens, he narrowly misses taking Eggsy’s head to the jaw.  It’s an easy pattern once he finds it; the music steps higher before crashing down to make the whole club jump and pump their hands in the air.

Roxy gets distracted by a pretty girl that’s faced towards them, her rhythm faltering as she notices the way the girl smiles at Roxy’s attention.  The girl’s smile is blindingly white in the dark of the club and she puts on a little show, preening when Roxy turns just enough to face her properly.

“Go get her, Rox,” Eggsy says loudly, leaning in to speak into Roxy’s ear.

Roxy flashes a smile and then she’s gone, whipping out from between them to slide a hand around the girl’s waist.  They disappear into the crowd and Eggsy pulls Merlin’s hands to his waist as soon as she’s gone.

“I had no idea Roxy preferred women,” Merlin says after Eggsy draws him into Roxy’s vacated space.

“Nah, bruv, she’s bisexual,” Eggsy says.

“Perhaps there’s also someone who’s caught your eye here, then?” Harry doesn’t quite manage to keep the disappointment out of his voice but the nuance is lost to the music.

“Why would I?  I got me the two fittest blokes I ever did want right here,” He says and then pulls Merlin in for a kiss.

Harry’s hips stutter as he watches Eggsy kiss Merlin, open-mouthed and loose.  He startles back to life when Eggsy pulls back and turns to him.  Eggsy nips at Harry’s jawline before tilting his head down for a kiss.

“There’s a backroom,” He pants out, “Nice place, sturdy couch.”

What comes out of Merlin’s mouth can only be described as a growl as he leans in to suck a bruise into the side of Eggsy’s neck.

“Filthy little brat,” He says and Eggsy shivers.

“You planned this,” Harry says with sudden clarity.  When Eggsy flutters his lashes and puts on his best no-sir-I-haven’t-done-anything-wrong face, he knows he’s right.

“It’s like a birthday gift,” Eggsy says, not an ounce of shame in him, “Getting’ spitroasted with the fuckin’ bang-slide of a rave in the back.”

At the thought of Eggsy’s mouth around his cock, moaning messily while Merlin fucks the boy from behind, Harry forgets all about how he and Merlin are so much older than Eggsy and that they’re all quite drunk and the other seventy other reasons why this is a bad idea.

“Back room,” He says, squeezing the muscle of Eggsy’s lithe waist, “Now.”

Eggsy drags them off the floor, nearly tripping over someone’s foot in his haste, to a curtained area with a bouncer in front of it.

“Eggsy,” The bouncer nods.  Then his gaze flickers up to Merlin and Harry.

“Both of them?”

He chuckles at Eggsy’s excited nod.

“Maria said I could,” He says.

“That she did,” The bouncer agrees, still amused.  He deliberately looks away from them with a nod and Eggsy ducks past the curtain, Harry and Merlin in his wake.

As soon as they’re through the curtain, Merlin spins Eggsy around to crush their hips together and to kiss the lad hungrily.

“Little tart,” He says, a feral edge to his voice, “Did you fuck her?  Hmmm?  Ate her out until she let you use this back room so you could get on your hands and knees for two old men?”

“Nah,” Eggsy breathes out, “Saved her place from bein’ robbed the other night when we was scoutin’.  Told her that I had two fit blokes I’d been swingin’ for and that my birthday was comin’ up and she offered the room.”

“I don’t remember that,” Merlin says, frowning a bit now.

“Nah, course you don’t, I turned off me glasses,” Eggsy says, smirking, which incites Merlin to give him another rough kiss, biting Eggsy’s lower lip until the man gasps and whines.

Harry settles himself onto the couch to watch the show.  He and Merlin have shared bed partners on rare past occasions and he’s learned that Merlin wants his partners to be begging for it before he turns them over to the careful control of Harry’s ministrations.  Harry quite enjoys it actually, it’s always a fantastic show and he prefers being the praise to Merlin’s filthy instructions.

Eggsy is hopped up on the adrenaline from dancing and his heartbeat pounds in time with the music and Merlin won’t fucking go anywhere near his cock.  There isn’t a thigh or a hand or anything near it and Eggsy whines when he tries to push against Merlin’s hip only to have the man pull away just enough to deny him.

“Merliiiiiin.”

“No,” Merlin orders, “Now, you’re going to go over to Harry and you’re going to ask, politely, with your very best manners, if he’d like to give you your present now.”

That galvanizes Eggsy into motion.  He whirls around and drops to his hands and knees.  But, like with everything Merlin orders, Eggsy puts his own spin on it.  He drops his waist and slinks forward like a jungle cat, the curve of his arse hypnotizing Merlin as he goes.

Eggsy leans up to slide his hands up Harry’s thighs and looks up at the man through his lashes, licking his lips so that they shine in the low light of the room.

“I was wondering,” He begins with his very best posh accent.

He stops and then grins wickedly when Harry motions for him to go on.

“If ye’d be so inclined as to fuck my face for my birfday,” He says, playing up his usual accent as far as it’ll go, until it’s all slurred consonants.

“No, no, no,” Merlin says.  He comes up behind Eggsy, gets down so that he’s on his knees and pressed up against Eggsy’s back.

“I said polite,” He growls, “Again.”

“Awwww, Merlin, really?  Can’t we just get to the part where you fuck me?”

“Again.”

Eggsy pouts but does as he’s told.  He turns back to Harry and starts again.

“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind feeding me your cock as my birthday present.”

“Please,” He says as an afterthought.

Harry lets out a controlled exhale and curves a hand through Eggsy’s hair.

“How can I refuse such a polite request?”

Eggsy smirks and then dives in, popping the button on Harry’s trousers with his mouth.  He yanks down the zipper with his teeth slowly, all the while maintaining eye contact with Harry.

“Aw, really, bruv?  I didn’t give you pants for a reason,” Eggsy says when he’s faced with Harry’s customary silk pants.  His hands only come into play long enough for him to shove the pants under Harry’s balls before going back to rest on his thighs.

“I thought you’d simply forgotten,” Harry admits.

“Nah, don’t wear pants to go dancin’, now do I.”

The hand in Eggsy’s hair tightens at that and Harry says, “Gorgeous, filthy, darling boy.”

Eggsy winks and licks messily down the underside of Harry’s cock.  Harry groans and lets the boy put his mouth to good use, kissing and sucking wetly at the head before wrapping his entire mouth around Harry and sliding down.

“Jesus,” Merlin says.  From where he is, he can see Eggsy slowly going down until his nose is pressed against Harry’s body.

“Condoms and lube,” He says, leaning down to press Eggsy into the couch.

Eggsy whimpers at the weight and pulls off to pant, “Got lube in my pockets.  No condoms though, I know you two’s clean.  Wanna feel you dripping down me jeans when we blow this joint.”

That gets a groan from both men and Merlin’s hands slide down to ruck his shirt up.  He rubs slow lazy circles that get closer and closer to Eggsy’s nipples and he can feel them tightening in anticipation.  Already he can see the difference between the way the two men fuck.  Harry likes watching Eggsy glut himself and lets Eggsy do as he wants.  Merlin teases, the wanker, and waits until Eggsy’s coiled with want and letting pleas fall past his lips before giving it to him.

“Merlin, jus’ fuckin’ touch them,” Eggsy begs.

He obliges, pinching harshly, and Eggsy yelps as the sensation livewires straight to his cock.

“I believe you were doing something with your mouth,” He says, low and rough into Eggsy’s ear.

He bites the lobe before continuing on, “You wouldn’t want to waste your present.  That isn’t very nice for the gifter.”

Eggsy pushes forward eagerly to take Harry’s cock back in his mouth, his moans vibrating through the flesh as Merlin’s ministrations _finally_ push lower.  The man unbuttons Eggsy’s jeans and shoves his hands under the waistband to encounter skin.

“Ye fucking brat, you really aren’t wearing pants,” He says and bites at the rise of Eggsy’s vertebrae.

The hand in Eggsy’s hair goes tight again at that, yanking slightly, and Eggsy moans.  He pulls off again and curls a hand over Harry’s wrist.

“Ye can do it rough,” Eggsy pants out, “Like it rough, like it when you pull.”

Harry has patience the size of the Sahara, but somehow, Eggsy always, always, always manages to break it apart and shatter it into a million pieces.  He obliges, tugging Eggsy in by his hair.

“God, fuck yeah,” Eggsy groans and then goes back to pressing adoring kisses to Harry’s cock.

It takes Merlin a bit of maneuvering to wrangle the lube out of Eggsy’s pocket and then to shove Eggsy’s jeans down, given how tight they are.  He drops the foil packets at the sight of a black oval between Eggsy’s cheeks.

“You spoiled little brat,” Merlin says, pressing down on the plastic just to see the way Eggsy’s muscles jump, “You really did plan this.”

Eggsy pulls off Harry’s cock again to press the side of his face into the crook of Harry’s hip.  He pants wetly against the skin there as Merlin rotates the plug.

“Roxy helped me plan,” He says, still grinning like a hellion.

“Good girl, Roxy,” Merlin says and pulls on the plug.

Eggsy moans at the loss and he can see Merlin hold the plug up to show Harry.

“You had that in you all night?” Harry asks.  His voice is rougher and Eggsy glances up to see him looking down at Eggsy hungrily.

“Sick, innit?”

“One day, when you’re at base, you’re going to wear one all day,” Harry says.  He has absolutely no idea where any of this is coming from, but he’s beginning to see what Merlin’s thing about talking dirty is.

“You’re going to wear it to keep you open so Merlin or I, or perhaps the both of us, can fuck you whenever we want and then plug you back up.”

“You can’t say things like that,” Eggsy whines, “Cause then when you don’t do them I end up wearin’ the plug anyway and wishin’ you was fuckin’ me.”

“Gentlemen always keep their promises,” Harry says, “Now I believe you were showing me your skillset?”

Eggsy noses his way up Harry’s dick, licking the slit before flattening his tongue against the underside.  He tucks his top lip back over his teeth and slides down, relishing in the heat.  Merlin slips two fingers in, dripping in lube, and Eggsy clenches down on them.

Merlin spanks him, “Ah, none of that.”

He fingers Eggsy, reaching deeper than the plug or Eggsy’s own fingers ever could to spread lube and to skim just around Eggsy’s prostate.

“Merlin, stop fuckin’ tease me and get your cock in me,” Eggsy groans.  He’s ducked his head to push his forehead against the couch and his hands are kneading desperately at Harry’s thighs.

“Spoiled,” Merlin huffs, but he removes his fingers and lines himself up.  He pushes in slowly, almost agonizingly so, and Eggsy’s fingers twitch against their urge to just grab his hips and pull him in.

“He always like this?” Eggsy asks Harry, “Fuckin’ teasin’?”

Harry gives the back of his head an amused look before stroking his thumb down the length of Eggsy’s neck.  The younger agent shivers at that.

“I have no idea why you would ask me that,” He says calmly.

“Like hell, you don’t know,” Eggsy says and takes his head off the couch to look up at Harry.  He looks absolutely wrecked, pupils blown black, mouth red and swollen, and an attractive flush pinking his cheeks.

“You an’ Merlin have done this before, feels like you guys know what you’s doin’ around each other,” He pants out and moans loudly when Merlin’s hips finally pull up against his.

“Darling, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Harry keeps up the charade.  “Merlin and I are terrible at sharing with other people.”

“But not with each other,” Eggsy manages to gasp out as Merlin sets up a punishing pace, long hard thrusts that shove Eggsy up the couch until he’s panting into Harry’s stomach and gripping the older man’s arms as an anchor.

Eggsy seems to remember that he’s supposed to be using his mouth and goes to town on Harry’s cock, slicking the way with even more spit.  It’s a sloppy mess of a job, because he can’t concentrate properly with Merlin ramming his prostate with unerring precision, but it’s working, if the way Harry’s low groans are anything to go by.  Harry’s hand tightens in his hair and there’s a brief upward tug but Eggsy stays that by tightening his own grip on Harry’s wrist.

Harry’s cock jerks in his mouth and Eggsy slowly pulls off, making sure to twist his tongue as he goes just to hear Harry swear from oversensitivity.

“Bet they don’t teach you that at Oxford.” Eggsy winks up at Harry.

Harry yanks Eggsy up by his shoulders, which throws Merlin off and he slips out, drawing a disappointed sound from Eggsy.

“Up you go,” Harry says and settles Eggsy onto his thighs.

“Much better,” Merlin says, “No nasty carpet burn on my knees now.”

Merlin braces himself against the back of the couch and guides himself back in, swearing as Eggsy pushes his head back to lean on his shoulder.

“Tha’s it, guv’nor,” Eggsy says, “Fuckin’ hell, best birthday ever.”

That gets a fond smile from Harry and a rough bite from Merlin right at the meat of Eggsy’s left shoulder.  He pulls off and licks at the reddened marks, keeping the rest of himself still until Eggsy starts to squirm.

“Fuck you and yer teasin’,” Eggsy says.

“Manners, Eggsy,” Harry reprimands lightly, but he reaches a hand around to stroke up and down the length of Eggsy’s spine.

“Pleaaaase,” Eggsy begs, “Please fuck me, Merlin.  Fuck me so hard I won’ be able to walk right tomorrow.”

“Since you said please,” Merlin says amusedly and obliges, pulling out and snapping his hips back in hard enough to force Eggsy up onto his knees.

“I thought you said this wasn’t gonna give me knee burns,” Eggsy manages to get out against the curve of Harry’s neck.  The older man is petting him slowly, all gentle hands through his hair and down his back and across his flanks and Eggsy fucking loves it, loves the difference between the gentle and the harsh.

“I think you’ll recall that I said no more carpet burn for _my_ knees,” Merlin says, “Short of holding you up, nothing’s going to save yours.”

“Bet you could do it,” Eggsy says, “You an’ Harry just holdin’ me up and fuckin’ into me.  Fit like you’s two is, bet you could.”

Merlin leans in closer until he’s pressed right up against Eggsy’s back.  He splays one hand over Eggsy’s stomach, pressing down between the vee of his hipbones just as Harry presses hard behind his balls.  Eggsy jerks violently, howling as he comes all over Harry’s stomach.

He shudders his way through his orgasm, hands clutching uselessly at Harry’s arms.  Merlin picks up his pace and then stills, mouthing at Eggsy’s neck as he comes.

“Whassat,” Eggsy slurs, “You pushed and fuck that was somefin’.”

“Perhaps if you’d paid more attention in your anatomy classes,” Harry says.

“Tha’ ain’ anatomy,” Eggsy says.

“Perhaps you need another lesson,” Merlin says, “Consider it the rest of your gift.”

“When I kin feel my body again, yeah?”

“Eggsy, are you tired?” Harry asks.  His amusement is clear in his tone.

“Nah, we gonna go all night, we is,” Eggsy says, “Soon as I naps a bit.”

***

Roxy barges into their room the next morning without so much as a knock.  Harry is about to berate her for picking up habits from Eggsy when he notices that someone else is with her.  She’s got her hand hooked through another girl’s, the one Eggsy remembers from earlier.

“That’s the birthday boy,” She says to the girl.

Eggsy waves lazily from where he’s being slightly crushed by Merlin.  She laughs and waves back at him.

“The one with hair is Harry,” Roxy continues, “And the one with the fantastic arse that’s crushing Eggsy is Merlin.”

“Like the wizard?” She asks.  Her American accent has the distinct New York edge to it that Eggsy’s grown familiar with over the past couple of days.

“Yeah, it’s more of a nickname, really.  But everyone’s called him by it for so long it actually takes him time to remember his real name.”

That gets another sunny laugh from the girl.

“Maria and I are off to get breakfast,” Roxy says, turning back to the trio on the bed, “We were going to ask if you wanted to come, but seeing as Eggsy’s plan was to go all night, I’m not sure you have the energy for it.”

“Oi, we didn’t go all night,” Eggsy says indignantly.

“Right, I forgot you took a brief break to order strawberries from room service and then traumatized the delivery boy by answering the door with a towel half on.  Also, I’m not sure your hips will support you right now.”

“Why you gotta be so mean like that, Rox?”

“Love you too, birthday boy.” She blows a kiss and then she and Maria are gone, chattering about the hotel’s breakfast choices.

Merlin lets out an agonized groan and rolls off Eggsy to starfish all over the empty part of the massive bed.

“I’m too old to keep up with you,” He says.

“Tha’s why there’s two of you, innit though,” Eggsy says brightly.

Harry laughs and presses a fond kiss to the curve of his jaw.

“Sex with you is going to kill us,” Merlin insists.

“It ain’t like we gonna go all night, every night,” Eggsy says.

Merlin turns to look at him with the most dubious expression Eggsy has ever seen.

“I’m sure,” Merlin says dryly.

“Like twice a week,” Eggsy says, “When you two ain’t gotta be in to work early.”

He amends his statement at Merlin’s unimpressed look, “Or like not all night, just like most of the night.”

“You’re serious?” Harry says.

“Yeah, bruv, you’s two’s fit as all hell and they say sex is a fuckin’ helluva workout,” Eggsy grins cheekily.

“No, Eggsy,” Merlin says.

“Awwww,” Eggsy pouts ferociously.

“Restraint is also a virtue of a gentleman,” Harry says.

“Yeah, an’ we saw how that turned out last night.”

“Restraint,” Merlin agrees, “Very good virtue to have when you’re in bed with two fifty year old men.”

Eggsy’s quiet for a long moment that has Merlin and Harry about to heave sighs of relief before he says wickedly, “But it’s still my birthday, yeah?  So fer now, we can go all day and night.”

“Spoiled darling,” Harry groans out.

“Filthy tart,” Merlin echoes.

But they don’t protest much when Eggsy starts on them again.

***

(Eggsy manages to scandalize another three delivery boys before they’re kicked out of the hotel.)

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me @ ilokheimsins on tumblr!


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